Keren Pereyra

Double Dollow - A Mother's Grief Keren Pereyra

The World Health Organization indicates that suicide accounts for approximately 800,000 deaths per year globally. This would mean that every 40 seconds someone takes their own life. For youths in the age range of 12-18, this is the second leading cause of death. It is noted that for every adult that takes their life, there are more than 20 adults attempting suicide. In 2012, my 14-year-old son, Jeremy, committed a violent suicide. In addition to the loss of my son, I then suffered the loss of my daughter to a severe heart defect. Following the demise of two children, I came to the realization that no words express the pain of a grieving parent. For this, I have coined the word, "Dollow". A single yet powerful word to express such a loss, which I explain in more detail in the Preface. In this autobiography, Double Dollow, I describe the details that I witnessed and experienced through these two traumatic situations. I believe that you, the reader will enjoy this captivating life story as it unfolds one chapter at a time. PREFACE: When a woman loses her husband, she is called a widow. When a man loses his wife, he is known as a widower. When children lose their parents, they are called orphans. Yet, when a parent loses a child, what word do we have in the English language to identify the parent of the deceased? Having suffered the most painful ordeal in the universe, how can there be no word, no name, no title, no anything to distinguish the parent who has lost a child? For most, such an event is unknowable and perhaps far too difficult to acknowledge, let alone label. Following the loss of a child, some parents wish the whole world knew how much suffering they experience. That's not a bad thing. The sufferer simply wants others to recognize how broken they can feel. They need a listening ear and a caring shoulder. However, the grieving parent may not wish to explain the whole situation, nor should that be necessary. What if, instead, we have an option to simply say, "I'm a 'such-and-such'?" What if this word, similar to the words "widow" or "widower," demonstrated that the person has persevered through great sorrow?Allow me to be the first to introduce you to a new word in the English language to identify a parent who has lost one or more children. The term comes from the Latin word dolor, which means, "pain, grief and sorrow." A variation of the word dolor is dolorous, meaning, "marked by misery or grief." The term first appeared circa 1400 and was linked to physical pain. Some synonyms of the term dolorous are: aching, agonizing, bemoaning, bewailing, mourning, grieving, heartbroken, lamentable, sorrowful, wailing, weeping and woeful. The expressions dolor and dolorous clearly describe the feelings of any loving parent grieving the loss of a child. Using a piece of the Latin root word, I have created the new word "dollow," which represents a parent who has lost a son or daughter in death. Are you a dollow? Now you have a word, a name, a title, something to distinguish you! If a parent has lost one child, they may say, "I'm a dollow." If a parent has lost two children, they may say, "I'm a double dollow." If a parent has lost three children, they may say, "I'm a triple dollow," and so forth. Hopefully, only the prophet Job has lost more than three children!Please read on, for I am a double dollow and this is my story