Nikki Dudley

I I'd Better Let You Go Nikki Dudley

This pamphlet is more personal than a lot of the stuff I normally write, at least overtly. My nan passed away in 2014 and for some reason, I finally felt ready to talk about it and of course, I did it via writing because it's the way I process the world. There's a mixture of visual poetry, more lyrical poetry, creative non-fiction and hybrid forms in here. When I sat down to write about dementia, the chaos of forms felt kind of fitting. The mixture of styles felt right for me to explore such a challenging, confusing, and often heart-breaking condition. I couldn't help including some more experimental/visual work because I have a real passion for it but it also lent itself perfectly to the theme and the examination of a person's life, family and mind falling apart. The fiction felt necessary to ground the pieces and pull everything together. While there's also some humour in there because despite everything, the shocks and oddities of dementia can be strangely humorous. In times of desperation and the unknown, humans have a tendency to try and find brightness, no matter where it comes from. This pamphlet is a dedication to my nan, who was one of my favourite people. I miss her all the time. So I had to write it out of me, to process the loss of her, in the best way I know.