John Leicht

Gardyloo!: an Ontological Love Story. John Leicht

Gardyloo! (gär' dè lòò'). interj - a Medieval Scottish expression used by innkeepers when emptying a chamber pot onto the cobbled street below from the second floor above. Hugh McGregor, a traveling corporate trademark attorney for the McGregor Corporation, which runs a world-wide, fast-food burger chain, happens upon the village of New Plockton, Iowa. There, he discovers a local Scottish Snuggery in violation of the McGregor Corporation's trademark. Not a concern. Simply deal with the owner of the establishment who, fortunately, happens to be a woman. Personally, Hugh's world view is set. He does not, categorically, believe in the concept of love. He does believe in the act. Especially as a pleasurable method for settling trademark transgressions by opposite gendered owners of competitive eating establishments. Hugh's world view is then set on its ontological ear by Maddie McGregor, owner of the Snuggery. Maddie is joined by the town-full of McGregors, the mythical, yet logically possible, characters Finn McCool and the Salmon of All Knowledge. This is a story not so much of redemption, but of ontological transformation. Of a sort. O Weltanschauung, O Weltanschauung Thy leaves are so unchanging... (Note: additional information and sample chapters can be found at gardyloothenovel.com)