Karla Denise Baker

It's All in My Head: a Schizophrenics Life Karla Denise Baker

"I, Lucille "Sissie" Ward, found it very hard to prove my worth. You hear of jewels at a young age and rocks, they talk of resources in grammar school. Every year they painted our school classrooms and always took care of trees on many streets. After every winter they black top roads and filled potholes. Always were laying new pipes in the road. They often sprayed areas to cut down on mosquitoes. All these things never told me my personal worth, as I was just a part of neighborhoods where all this work took place. A lot of sidewalks were removed, as gray slate was practically everywhere as today it's almost non-existent. Some always told me I was not worthy. I don't know whether it meant because I'm not worth as in commodity or I'm just no value. Although I never knew what love was I felt deprived of it. I was considered a retard. Today, degenerate. I had not knowing it, many delusions as I awakened in the night. I was fatherless at the age of six. I often saw my father afterwards, only for one year. Brother called me dumb. Mother said I was deaf. They said I was lame. I had one gray hair in the top of my head; mother said I worried too much. Father was dead, but I said he went away to heaven." Born May 7th 1944, Lucille "Sissie" Ward is a true Patersonian. This is her first book.