Joe Shaughnessy

The Final Phoenix Joe Shaughnessy

From a #1 bestselling author comes a hilarious adventure. How to Save Fairyland, A Checklist:
- Cappuccino? Check.
- Fancy dress with matching shoes? Double-check.
- One unsuspecting orphan with no life goals who wants to be back in time for dinner? Triple-check. As Scott is unwillingly yanked into Fairyland, he wonders if the fairies are specifically picking on him because he's an orphan? Why is it always an orphan? What's with these fantasy stories and their tired tropes? Not to mention, what do the fairies do all day if they're not working? Why are they so darn lazy? These, and other baffling questions, are what Scott is determined to find out. Fairyland is under attack. The ogres are coming. And Scott would save Fairyland if he could, but he's under a pile of paperwork. He has to fill out forms in triplicate before he can lift a finger. He agrees to be the phoenix-it's the most exciting prospect his boring life has ever faced-but the problem is the fairies have made it logistically impossible to complete the feat. Has any other human ever completed the task? Meanwhile, the ogres have unleashed their ultimate weapon-the dragon. Roar! The mighty beast soars across the sky, unleashing a fiery hell on the fairies below, yet all the fairies can do is launch gumdrops and Twizzlers candy to slow the dragon down. Even with their powerful magic spells, it's not exactly a useful defense. In the meantime, Scott is busy sipping fancy coffee drinks in trendy cafes, trying all the latest fashions, and generally avoiding work at all costs-because that's the life of a real fairy, to enjoy life's pleasures. Besides, there's always going to be a war to fight. The war can wait. So, dear reader, you're welcome to follow Scott on this epic journey. Will he become the phoenix? Will he overcome the fairies' pointless bureaucracy and finally free them from the wrath of the ogre's never-ending war? So come along, why don't you? Because if you're like Scott, then you don't have anything better to do.