David Bruce

The Funniest People Who Live Life David Bruce

This book includes 250 anecdotes, including these:1) Emperor Fo-siu respected the Buddhist priest Si-tien and told him that he could have any treasure - including gold, silver, jewels, priceless works of art - he wanted, provided that he could carry it away in one trip. He then gave Si-tien the key to the royal treasure rooms. However, Emperor Fo-siu was surprised to see Si-tien return very quickly, leading a small girl by the hand. Emperor Fo-siu told Si-tien, "I wanted to give you something valuable, not a dirty orphan. Why did you choose her?" Si-tien replied, "In choosing the child, I chose many rewards - smiles, laughter, affection, small hands and feet, ribbons thrown about in disarray, and the love of a small child for a caring parent." 2) - Many parents have difficulty sleeping in on Christmas - not because they don't want to, but because their children are so eager to open presents. Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller's mother, Claudia, found a way to sleep in a little longer. She used to hide one present for each child, then write a poem giving a clue to where the presents were hidden. Only after the children had found the hidden gifts were they allowed to awaken their parents. (It's a great idea, but Claudia says it resulted in only six or seven extra minutes of sleep, as her children were wonderful at figuring out the hiding place of the presents.) 3) Eddie Cantor was a fabulously successful comedian in the first half of the 20th century. His children were autograph collectors, and so one day he offered to sign his name in their autograph books - but they wailed, "No, no, please, Daddy. These are for celebrities only."