Bill Kilpatrick

How to Survive a Gator Attack Bill Kilpatrick

It's the 21st Century but people are still coming to Florida, and getting eaten by alligators. How does that keep happening? Comedian Bill Kilpatrick explores this issue, giving it all the reverence it deserves. Bill also discusses why it's happening and what to do if you end up with your arm in a gator's mouth. This is not a book for church ladies or lizard people. Bill doesn't want to hear from you if you offend easily or if you're smarter and better educated. He gets both reactions at home from his wife. This book is for people like Bill, who just want to laugh a little at life's folly, people who have a sense of humor, people who can afford to buy this book. This book is not a textbook. It is not required in any class. It does, surprisingly, contain actual facts, statistics, arguments, suggestions and other high-minded features that would make it the perfect book for that friend or loved-one who doesn't have a stick up their butt but appreciates a friendly, educational word-to-the-wise about how to avoid getting eaten by a gator. This book is not for animal trainers, animal rights' advocates or animals. While parts of the book are genuinely educational (if you squint) most of it is for entertainment. If you read it and don't like it, it probably means you suck. It's the 21st Century. We're all reasonably educated people. But somehow, some of us are getting eaten by alligators. It's enough to make you avoid the state of Florida during mating season - or at least alligator mating season. How can you, personally, avoid having this happen to you, or someone you love, or someone your wife doesn't know you love? How can you not end up at the bottom of a Florida lake, bloated like you were when you got off the Keto diet, and treated like a gator's special stash? Read this book right now. Read it as fast as you can. Your life may depend on it and, frankly, I need the sale.