Leon Schwartz

Loose Goose: Limericks, 'Converbs, ' and Other Rib-Ticklers Leon Schwartz

Are you worried that the Commies or Islamies are about to take over the United States, or that the Apocalypse is just around the corner, or that atheists are plotting to destroy Christmas, or that the Chicago Cubs won't win a World Series for another fifty years? Well, relax. The author of this book can guarantee that the Commies and Islamies are more scared of us than we of them, that the Apocalypse is at least five years off or maybe a million, and that some of the atheists he knows have Christmas trees. As far as the Cubs are concerned, the author guarantees nothing, but it's probable that they'll win a World Series before the Apocalypse, so stop worrying. Anyway worrying is a bummer.

It's more fun laughing, unless you're griping, which can also be uplifting.

This collection of limericks, 'converbs,' and assorted mishigass may take your mind off all the quotidian crap and give you some laughs about the absurdities of life in this our "mortal coil."

(Don't know what 'converb,' mishigass, and mortal coil are? They are, respectively, the response to a proverb, the Yiddish for nonsense, and life's sound and fury.)

Leon Schwartz has earlier published one book of mishigass entitled , Limericks, 'Converbs,' and Utter Folly (Worthy Shorts, New York: 2010) and has read his limericks at both the 1st and 2nd Annual Los Angeles Limerick Festival. He was also invited to read them for Beatnik Day at the Secret Rose Theater in North Hollywood this year, in spite of his arthritis and unpredictable grumpiness. He justified his appearance at a Beatnick Day event on the grounds that as a kid he had plenty of beatings.

After the 2nd limerick festival, a reviewer from the publication LAWeekly, Paul Bradley, wrote the following on his November 15 LAWeekly blog: "This is a limerick festival, after all, and the gentleman, Prof. Leon Schwartz, is killing them softly with rhyme . . . . Schwartz was the opening act Friday night . . . . How can you not have fun at an event where someone like Prof. Schwartz, a decorated WII veteran, can belt out some sublime smuttiness like:

"There once was a small man named Don Juan

Who liked to find women to lie on.

He found a Señora

Whose name was Pandora

And slipped into her box and was gone."