Kate Murphy

You're Not Listening Kate Murphy

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever As a society, we've forgotten how to listen. We hear all too much: modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides a constant distraction. So we've learnt to listen selectively - especially to those we love most. We've become scared of other people's points of view, and of silence. Yet now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. Listening carefully can help us to understand different opinions, prevent atrocities and even save lives. In Listen, New York Times journalist and professional listener Kate Murphy draws on countless personal conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others. Active listening is about curiosity and patience - about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people are often the very worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. It may take effort, but it is a skill that can be learnt. When all we crave is to be understood, Listen shows us how.