William F. Pegues

Breaking Free from Unresolved Grief William F. Pegues

Unresolved grief becomes a hindrance in spiritual growth. Psychological issues have an effect on how persons relate to God and others. This project focuses on how psychological obstacles inhibit spiritual healing in the context of an African American congregation and community, particularly the Williams Memorial Christian Methodist Episcopal Church. The project implemented a ministry with trained facilitators to provide a confidential, safe place for persons to learn how to articulate burdens, feelings, and problems associated with grief. I contend that African Americans carry a lot of unresolved grief through life and that they believe grief is associated only with death. In fact, grief consists of many different conflicting emotions bound together, causing persons to re-adjust and create a new life for themselves. The biblical story of Job offers a viable model for grief resolution. Job goes through a period of stability in his life, followed by a period of disorientation when everything is in disarray, finding himself asking the question "why?" He then moves to a period of a new orientation after surrendering to God. This is the biblical account of what many Christians experience in daily life. Confronting grief can be excruciating. Nevertheless, if one is able to confront grief directly and intentionally, in the context of a supportive community rather than passively and unconsciously allowing grief to dominate one's life, one can avoid its most traumatic and unpleasant consequences. Indeed, resolving grief intentionally empowers a person to develop positive, healthy relationships with oneself, others, and God. The key is choosing timeliness and intentionality over denial and passivity. This project implements useful strategies for helping people to understand and confront the grief that inhibits spiritual healing.