Justin Donner

I Just Woke Up Dead Justin Donner

After climbing out of "part 1: hell" the next chapter in the "i just woke up dead" series leads the reader by the hand down a road filled with tempting yet illusory highs. Sex and drugs take over as the spiral quickens, addiction firmly grasping what was a promising future and strangling it with guilt and pain. Legal issues begin piling up, dysfunction escalates and the ramifications of all these behaviors are seen throughout the alternate chapters while navigating through three months in a lock-down psychiatric hospital. Even while committed, the highs perpetually sought by an addict rear their ugly heads. Sex and drugs become readily available to cope with the nightmares realized in "part 1: hell." Codependency is showcased as an abuser and his victim rekindle their distorted version of love despite the harrowing reality of the relationship. This 2nd part of the series examines the elements of addiction often glamorized in the media or exaggerated or trivialized in other memoirs. Professionals in chemical dependency fields are given a thorough presentation of what addiction is like psychologically, a case-study of behavior and the subsequent consequences. The narrative fast-forwards from 2002 to 2006, to a broken psyche trying to recover and back again to the reasons behind substance abuse that deteriorate the protagonist until he is shattered to the point of psych ward commitment by the state of Minnesota as "mentally ill and dangerous." Equally as important is the alternative sentencing realized in Minnesota as being more functional and effective given the circumstances. Without treatment, if given incarceration, progress would have been severely inhibited. For those trying to relate, like the author was unable to do while battling demons, the accounts in "part 2: highs" show, not tell, that as addicts we are not alone. For those struggling right now, to those living in long-term recovery, this is a story that rarely gets told. Unapologetic, raw, real, gritty, without prejudice or moral judgment. Sex, drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, spiritual bankruptcy, soul-searching pain while abandoning God... Potential never realized, direction in life lost, meaning to find tomorrow completely abandoned... These are the highs of an addict standing at the gates of hell.