Arfer Apple

Legless in the Garden Shed Arfer Apple

A garden shed, once demolished by an explosion, now rebuilt. To hold only his love of music in a world, the walls are covered with old Beatle posters. Through the window where a cat used to sit, who used to water a plant kept alive with the warmth of a sun lamp. In the other corner, a large still bubbling away. I believe it once overheated. He thinks the only illegal substance in his life is his wife's cooking. His wife, an extra large shadowy figure with bright red hair shaped in the style of a Mohawk, rides a Harley Davidson, and shouts abuse at everyone. His neighbours, Auntie Tam and Auntie Vernon, have eight children in an orphanage. Auntie Vernon used to be Uncle Vernon till he had the chop and we are not talking about a pork chop. On the other side live Bobby Brown and Anna the Banger famous for her sausages. Next door to Bobby live Mrs Junket and her cat. Across the road live the neighbours from hell, Harry and Evelyn Roberts, looking down on the world full of riff raff, who are so far up themselves they could be dough rings. With his only comforts in life, he now sits in a rocking chair that sometimes he thinks is a jet plane, with a glass of home-brew and headphones on listening to music of times gone by with his faithful dog upon his lap.