Martha Fehr M. A.

The Two Sides of the Golden Rule: Living Assertively is Living Biblically Martha Fehr M. A.

I believe that the Bible teaches assertiveness as the most mature, biblical way of living. In very simple terms, assertiveness is when we say, "Come sit with me. Let's talk about our relationship. What is working for us and what needs to change?" When we are assertive we do not run and hide from relationship difficulties, neither do we demand that things are done our way. Instead, we face the problems head on, and in a calm, but firm manner, we address the issues that need to be resolved.

When I have been privileged to help people become assertive, they have not only improved their interpersonal relationships, they have developed a healthier self-esteem, and for people with a faith in God, that relationship has also deepened.

Because I have seen such positive changes in the clients I have worked with, I have become passionate about the importance of being assertive. My own relationships have also improved when I have practiced assertiveness.

Before I worked as a counselor, I taught school for several years. Later, as a counselor, I wished that someone would design a course on assertiveness that could be used in the classroom. If children would learn the value of assertive behavior early in life, they would struggle less with relationships throughout their lives.