Sandi L. Humphrey

Life Imitates Compost: Humorous Reflections on the Outright Absurdity of Everyday Life Sandi L. Humphrey

Sandi Humphrey?s hilarious reflections on everything from male pattern baldness (not even on the list of reasons women reject men) to headcheese (when?s dinner?) in this compilation of over sixty humour columns will yield oodles of laughter! That?s precisely the objective. A sampling of the depth of thought and outright absurdity you?ll find in this book include:

THE STUD-FINDER: A stud-finder is a great little gadget that helps locate studs behind walls. This, however, is not the reason I have a stud-finder. Mine was a birthday gift a few years ago from some well-intentioned friends who thought it might help me find a man. I discourage other single women from rushing out to the local hardware store to buy their own stud-finder. In my case, it was a dismal failure. Upon reflection however, I must admit the fault may not lie entirely with the stud-finder.

VETERINARY SURGERY: One morning I noticed a four-inch piece of tinsel dangling out of a delicate area directly beneath the base of my cat Lumpy?s tail. After an extremely lengthy debate with myself, I determined that it would undoubtedly be in Lumpy?s interest if I removed the tinsel from its source. I don?t believe I need to go into much detail here, except to say that the entire operation was awkward and embarrassing for both of us. It was Groundhog Day before we could look each other in the eye without blushing.

DEATHLY SIDE EFFECTS: A magazine advertisement for medication recently caught my attention. It notes, and I quote directly, "Since the product was first introduced, serious infections, some involving death, have been reported in some patients". Now I don't know about you, but I would be somewhat hesitant using a product even remotely involving death. I also consider death a bit more than a serious infection, but I'm not a medical professional so don't take my thoughts as gospel.