Joseph J. Bailey

Nemesis - a Good Guide for Bad Guys: Being an Exceedingly Practical Manual to Achieving Eminence As an Archenemy, Villain, Evil Overlord, & Antihero ... Adventurers Everywhere (Ea'ae)) (Volume 3) Joseph J. Bailey 2nd edition

Note: 2nd edition.  Professionally edited by David Gatewood, Stygian Overlord
So you want to be a villain?
 
You do know that being a villain isn't all fun-filled romps in dank, lightless tombs, incendiary encounters with intellectually stunted heroes, joyously crushing the hopes and dreams of unsuspecting innocents, accumulating vast hordes of ill-gotten wealth, and advancing your agenda on a world unappreciative of your greatness? (1)
 
You really want to be hunted by unethical vigilantes(2), chased by grown adults wearing skintight suits, ostracized from (in)decent society, forced to forge ahead in a universe largely opposed to your relentless pursuit of self-interest, and relegated to a life of bad hygiene and poor fashion choices?
 
Have you considered another career?
 
Ever?
 
If not, then villainy is for you, and Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys is the manual you'll live(3) by!
 
Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys provides a wealth of information you do not wish to have on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil.
 
With illuminating topics such as The Villainy of Villainy, On Accepting Advice and Recognizing Terrible Ideas, How to Keep Your Secret Plans Secret, Horrible Haircuts, The Humility of Arrogance, The Good Guys Don't Always Win, and Happily Never After, Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys has more information than you can hope to want on being a villain. (4)
 
If, on the assuredly infinitesimal possibility you have not yet come to your senses about becoming a villain, then Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys will be your highly impractical pragmatic guide to commencing upon the often volatile, failure-laden, frustrating, dangerous, and short-lived career of the evildoer, archrival, supervillain, antihero, fell overlord, or nemesis. (5)
 
Read this if you value your life:
 
     1. Okay, maybe it is.
     2. Probably your extended family.
     3. Or die.
     4. Only a minute portion actually being practical.
     5. You have been warned.